Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. Commentdocument.getElementById("comment").setAttribute("id","ad25fff6afc452fed4d50cd58278ff8c");document.getElementById("i20ae56af4").setAttribute("id","comment"); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Yippee your birthday is finally here. You must have a lot of stories to tell. May your smile get brighter with each passing year. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Do you get on before you get on? Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. "Brain Droppings", Hyperion. Happy Birthday to you, my dearest friend. Happy 60th Birthday! 25 Insanely Funny George Carlin Quotes . I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? "Carlin on Campus". I'm not just 68. Submit Quote George Carlin On Birthdays Quotes & Sayings Showing search results for "George Carlin On Birthdays" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found. George Carlin. 65th Birthday Birthday Wishes Funny Birthday Friends Husband Advertising God Birthday Funny Catholic Humanity Driving Addiction Smile World Movies Reason Libraries Lies. Showing search results for "George Carlin Birthday" sorted by relevance. Famous Birthday Quote. Share with your friends. And I'd send him a card, 'Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday, Love George'. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. Our views are no different: the man was a legend. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. William Butler Yeats: "From our birthday, until we die, / Is but the winking of an eye." Plato: "Old age: A great sense of calm and freedom. It is time to party! I felt better right away. George Carlin put a new spin on what comedy was and how it could impact high-scale decisions. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' Get ready for your Birthday prank today as well. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. 60 really looks great on you! 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi.63.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?. Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! On your birthday, I promise to keep all your secrets, to flood you with gifts and never to miss a chance to make you smile. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? There is a mistake in the text of this quote. I will pray that you receive more than you have hoped for this birthday. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). Im just kidding. Who said youre sixty? Happy 60th Birthday! Get curated quotes straight into your inbox before everyone else! Showing search results for "George Carlin Birthday" sorted by relevance. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Deal with it.". "The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.". We havent tried that for a while. How do you feel with 60 years of wisdom? Electricity is really just organized lightning. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it? Maybe this time itll work., One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor., Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town., Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity., Its never just a game when youre winning., I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam., Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy., People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think., I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that., A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff., If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little., Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. George Carlin (1998). cancer, the war on drugs. May you have a delicious and partylicious birthday! You don't. Happy Birthday. Georges words and his life are revered in more ways than one. It seems only right. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. I like Florida. What does it mean to pre-board? Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Happy 60th Birthday filled with lot of happiness and joy! Happy 60th Birthday! George Carlin Birthday Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2022 As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.33.If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor.34.Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. George Carlin. Every day we present the best quotes! George Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot. 500 matching entries found. George Carlin (1998). "Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. Book by George Carlin, 2004. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. I gravitated toward being a funny guy. There are some secrets we keep because we can't bear to let them out and some because it's better to keep them in. Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! Showing search results for "George Carlin Birthday" sorted by relevance. May you have them both. On Weather - Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - TIME Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. On your birthday, I just want to remind you that you are the best person I have ever met in my whole life. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens. TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes You are just a 20 year old with 40 years of experience. "What Am I Doing in New Jersey?". 500 matching entries found. George had an interesting take on the things that he did. There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. George Carlin Birthday Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2023 George Carlin: The Best Inspirational Quotes by The Late Comedic Genius There's a humorous side to every situation. Happy Birthday to you! "Democracy Now!" with Amy Goodman, www.democracynow.org. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it, because you've lost your identity, because you now owe your allegiance to this thing that's bigger than you are and that controls you. By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh. But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? When youre born in America, you get a front row seat., You know an odd feeling? Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. When the passions have relaxed their hold, you may have escaped, not from one master but from many." Pope John XXIII: "Men are like wine. George Carlin Happy Birthday Quotes. 25 Insanely Funny George Carlin Quotes - Quotezine The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Thank God people dont age as fast as other creatures, because otherwise youd be gone by now. I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. 1. It's your birthday! Took some time to get there, but it's absolutely amazing once you arrive. One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. Famous Birthday Quotes From the Famous - ThoughtCo I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom. Mickey Mouse's birthday being announced on the television news as if it were an actual event! Share with friends. 500 matching entries found. He's the subject of a new documentary. Oprah Winfrey. tags: humor , sci-fi , sleep. I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it. Happy 65th Birthday! I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. George Carlin - The very existence of flame-throwers Its just soft., Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. Wishing a special 60th Birthday to a special person like you! Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason. You know why?